It was not very long in to Saturday morning. It was the small hours. Maybe it was cold ? Saturday hadn’t grown very large. It was a tiny bit after midnight … etc etc …
… when a couple of countryside rangers were finally heading home after extinguishing 7 fires / barbecues and removing the risk of another fire that was prep’d to be lit (with the usual accoutrements from Homebase™️ for those seasoned ‘wildcampers’ who have no idea how to actually light a fire so they buy accelerant soaked goods from a hardware store to hasten the process 🙄).
Anyway, i digress …
Passing Curbar Gap they noticed a bbq that was still hot next to a parked car that was steamed up.
In order to ascertain ownership of said bbq they knocked on the Qashqai window and were promptly confronted by an inebriated gentleman who a) the bbq belonged to and b) wanted to have the conversation about the bbq on the verge through the medium of violence.
Unlike the artists impression of the incident above (this is after all a family show), the car / bbq owner was in fact stark bollock naked.
Dear reader, whichever vehicle you choose as your chariot of overnight passion and however hot proceedings are getting inside it, please do not leave anything hot unattended outside the vehicle. Scroll through the Derbyshire Fire & Rescue Service socials for the incident showing what happens when a bbq was left unattended near parked cars at Bamford Edge (Spoiler: it torched a line of vehicles).
So in dealing with your demeanour and your bbq etiquette we may actually have saved you and your partner in passion from being barbecued.
No naked flames ❌
No naked owners of naked flames ❌
You’re welcome. 🫣🧯.