This is ‘Kevin’
*Despite similarities in their demeanour, we have no evidence to suggest that Saturday Kevin knows Friday Karen.
Kevin doesn’t come from Greece nor does he have a thirst for knowledge.
He comes from Lancashire and he has a thirst for trespass, alcohol, Class B drugs, BBQ’s, fire and damaging farmers property.
He didn’t tell us that his Dad was loaded and we’re sure he was on something much stronger than rum and coca cola but within thirty seconds time of being asked to extinguish the fire and leave the field he said:
‘I wanna have a fire and a bbq in this field that isn’t mine and sleep with me burd in the back of my Toyota Hilux
2.4 D-4D Active 4WD Euro 6 4dr (3.5t) that’s currently on auto-trader for £14,994 but i’m feeling really really harassed by you pointing a torch at me’.
And then he leaned his head through the side window of our vehicle, coughed weed and lager over us and repeated how harassed he felt.
Then he went back to his Hilux and his burd and got under his duvet and lit a joint and laughed about how harassed he was.
We know this last bit of detail because we deployed our HDO (Harassment Detector Operative) and whilst two of the rangers withdrew to a safe distance to make sensitive Kevin feel less harassed and to report how harassed he was feeling to Derbyshire Constabulary, our HDO sat down quietly next to the Hi-lux for a while.
You’d think with Kevin’s military experience he’d have noticed 🤷♂️
If he’d just called his Dad maybe he could stop it all ?
Lovely to meet you ‘Kevin’.
